I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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