her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize