I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
