Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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