I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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