There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
