my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
MIDGETS
????
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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