Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
