My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
even my farts smell like vagina
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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