Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Ketchup is God's man juice
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
