five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
