We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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