Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
