Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
