remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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