He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm like, not good at living.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
