I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
