take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
