In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
