At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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