her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
