I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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