why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
