Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
