let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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