no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
