Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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