And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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