"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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