That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
