you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Terrible idea I love it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
