How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
