Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
