i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
