Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
