sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
