Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
