I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We smell like vodka and hangover
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