I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize