Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
