My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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