well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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