Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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