You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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