i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
