I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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