The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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