it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
