HIV tests are more positive than that guy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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