So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm too high and old for this...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
