I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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