Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
