Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Too much gin, very little bucket
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
