Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
