the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
