My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
