I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
