sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
