3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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