I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
