im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
