ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize