I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
