Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
