ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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