Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A bitchslap is in order.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
