Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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