And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
